{"id":8385,"date":"2019-01-11T10:47:38","date_gmt":"2019-01-11T16:47:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/?p=8385"},"modified":"2026-02-26T13:41:23","modified_gmt":"2026-02-26T19:41:23","slug":"change-isnt-linear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/2019\/01\/11\/change-isnt-linear\/","title":{"rendered":"Change isn’t linear"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cGod, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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Image courtesy unsplash.com<\/a><\/strong><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe I have to do this again,\u201d I thought angrily to myself about a year ago as I made preparations to enter treatment for an eating disorder \u2026 for the second time. I had completed the program just six months prior. I was so frustrated with myself (as I\u2019m sure some of the people who love me were too) for the relapse that sent me back to treatment. As I processed this fact with my therapist, she reminded me of something I\u2019d heard before: recovery isn\u2019t linear.<\/p>\n

For any of us who have tried to make changes in life, to grow into healthier versions of ourselves, it doesn\u2019t take long to also see that they \u2014 like recovery \u2014 aren\u2019t linear; that conversion and growth are more like the messy work of spirals.<\/p>\n

When I began treatment the first time I was overwhelmed by the many changes I had to make, but in the back of my mind I thought that by the end of the program they would be made and I would be, officially, recovered. Then I experienced some of the hardest emotional and spiritual work I\u2019ve ever had to do. I remember lamenting to one of my counselors, like my fellow group mates would also do, \u201cI just want this recovery process to be over.\u201d We were consistently reminded that \u201crecovery isn\u2019t linear.” It was (and is) just as change; a one step forward, two steps back sort of thing.<\/p>\n

Returning to treatment felt like I had taking more than two steps back, and I had to accept that I was going to have some of those same good days and bad days and would sometimes make mistakes, even some of the same mistakes. That making lasting, lifelong changes can be frustrating and messy. But it was necessary, and I wasn\u2019t starting from square one. I wasn\u2019t the same person who went through the program before.\u00a0I had the capacity to deal with the challenges from a deeper place and a different perspective.<\/p>\n

During my second trip to treatment, with the support of my therapist and a very dear friend, I was able to forgive myself, to focus more directly on the issues at the root of my eating disorder, to finally give away the clothes I wore when I was at my lowest weight. This symbolic action helped me accept my new size and forgive myself. I wouldn\u2019t have been able to do this before.<\/p>\n

Oftentimes you hear the saying \u201cNew year, new me;\u201d about people making new-year resolutions such as losing weight, saving money, starting a hobby or adding a spiritual practice to their lives. My commitment to myself this year \u2014 and all those yet to come \u2014 is to continue working toward recovery from my eating disorder, a journey I began almost two years ago. I will struggle to stick with some of the important changes I\u2019ve needed to make to stay well, but I now have the tools to deal with the struggles in a healthier way. I can learn from my successes in the past.<\/p>\n

I remember first hearing the Serenity Prayer back in my high school English class and being struck by the power and meaning in those words as I was doing the difficult work of leaving adolescence and becoming an adult. These days, as I continue the hard work of conversion and growing closer to God, I have returned to the Serenity Prayer as frequent mantra, a reminder that making changes is the stuff of spirals.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Sister Shannon Fox<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"sister-shannon-fox\"<\/p>\n

Shannon Fox, Sister of St. Joseph of the Third Order of St. Francis<\/strong><\/a>, who hails from Cleveland, Ohio, and now lives in Chicago, Illinois, became a novice in 2003. She ministers as a high school special education teacher at a therapeutic day school for students with special needs. Teaching runs in her family, as both her parents and her little sister are teachers. In her spare time (“Ha!”), Sister Shannon enjoys community theater, singing and photography. She is also a member of Giving Voice<\/strong><\/a> through which she and Sister Julia met.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u201cGod, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.\u201d \u201cI can\u2019t believe I have to do this again,\u201d I thought angrily to myself about a year ago as I made preparations to enter treatment for an eating...","protected":false},"author":35237015,"featured_media":8386,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[115341],"tags":[161022,815238,839091,74955167,43924282,652313714,34327,37764,561077],"series":[698756626],"class_list":["post-8385","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-equity-and-justice-equity-and-justice","tag-eating-disorder","tag-eating-disorder-recovery","tag-eating-disorder-treatment","tag-lifelong-changes","tag-linear-change","tag-linear-recovery","tag-new-years-resolutions","tag-physical-health","tag-serenity-prayer","series-messy-jesus-business"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/spiral-courtesy-unsplash.com_.jpg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/feed\/podcast\/messy-jesus-business","embedCode":"

Change isn’t linear<\/a><\/blockquote>