{"id":6857,"date":"2016-12-06T12:00:29","date_gmt":"2016-12-06T18:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/?p=6857"},"modified":"2026-02-26T13:44:31","modified_gmt":"2026-02-26T19:44:31","slug":"this-complicated-imperfect-world-an-essay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/2016\/12\/06\/this-complicated-imperfect-world-an-essay\/","title":{"rendered":"This complicated, imperfect world: an essay"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have always been hesitant to rock\u00a0the boat; to challenge\u00a0another\u2019s opinion. As much as I would like to think otherwise, I don\u2019t often get my feet muddy or my hair wet. The dirt splattered across my pants comes from my daughter jumping into a rain puddle, not me. I am usually complacent, confined to the rigid knowledge of my own truth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"little-girl-sandals-mud-rain\"
Photo courtesy of Michael Krueger<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This was made clear to me after a pre-November 8 conversation with a friend.<\/span><\/p>\n

We had only been driving together for a few minutes. It was close to midnight and the street lights illuminated the road. My daughter Clara and I were visiting family in Milwaukee, and my parents had offered to put her\u00a0to bed so I could see a movie with a friend. Adam and I had left the theater and as we drove down the road, our conversation turned to the upcoming presidential election and social policies directed at the poor. Adam works at a bank in Milwaukee.<\/span><\/p>\n

Almost immediately he began to share with me his frustration over customers who receive government benefits: people, often minorities, for whom he cashes government-issued checks. \u00a0He\u2019d recently counted out money–income she receives without working for it, worth more than his own paycheck–for a woman he assumes is a single mother who \u201cchose to have multiple kids by multiple fathers.\u201d Adam continued to provide example after example of people rewarded for poor choices, supported by his tax dollars with no incentive to change: a system, he sees, as broken.<\/span><\/p>\n

In that moment my mind flooded with memories of our collective past and stark realities of the present. I thought of white privilege: of how blessed we both were growing up each with two parents in stable homes in safe, affluent neighborhoods; regularly attending Mass (and actually, to be honest, he more so than I). I thought of my own stories of encountering the working poor while living at a Catholic Worker house in La Crosse. I thought of socioeconomic studies that demonstrate racial and economic disparity. <\/span><\/p>\n

In the end though, all that I managed to say was: \u201cYes, it doesn\u2019t always make sense, but every person has dignity and is deserving of dignity.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMichael,\u201d Adam quickly retorted, \u201cYou can\u2019t honestly tell me that woman is equal to you in any way. She\u2019ll never be. I love you Michael, but you just don\u2019t understand how some things in our society work.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

This is where the true test comes in. No matter how much I disagree with his statement, to him it\u2019s absolute truth. There will be other examples from Adam\u2019s work and stories in the media to confirm his bias, and new life experiences and encounters to affirm my own. \u00a0He is tired of being labeled racist for \u201ccalling it like it is.\u201d I will not change his opinion, and he will not change mine.<\/span><\/p>\n

And yet we still plan to see each other the next time I\u2019m in town; still plan to share our beliefs; still plan to disagree.<\/span><\/p>\n

So does this mean we live in a broken, polarized society; one that is stitched together as a patchwork of conflicting ideologies and beliefs separated by intolerance, discrimination, righteousness, and hostility, impassable and unforgiving? Yes and no. I believe we live somewhere in the middle, immersed in the <\/span>messy<\/span><\/i> and difficult conversations and realities that have become flashpoints erupting and boiling over in nearly every news cycle: Black Lives Matter, the anger directed at police forces; lead-tainted water; Standing Rock Reservation; \u201cLock her up\u201d and ISIS-inspired terrorist attacks.<\/span><\/p>\n

But what we have to be mindful of and profusely share is that we\u2019re also immersed in subtle reminders of that which is good and holy. Sometimes it simply takes an encounter or the reframing of a question for us to change our perspective. In a 2012 TEDx\u00a0Talk, Father Gregory Boyle, founder and executive director of Homeboy Industries<\/a> in Los Angeles, California, remarked, \u201cHow can we achieve a certain kind of compassion that stands in awe at what the poor have to carry, rather than in judgement for how they carry it?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n