{"id":6736,"date":"2016-10-25T10:45:59","date_gmt":"2016-10-25T15:45:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/?p=6736"},"modified":"2026-02-26T13:44:45","modified_gmt":"2026-02-26T19:44:45","slug":"our-hidden-illness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/2016\/10\/25\/our-hidden-illness\/","title":{"rendered":"Our hidden illness"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Photo
Photo courtesy of Nicole Steele Wooldridge<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My \u00a0daughter has asthma.<\/p>\n

People often express their condolences when the subject comes up but\u2014the truth is\u2014it\u2019s really not a big deal. I grew up with asthma, so I was never intimidated by the diagnosis. Thankfully, my daughter\u2019s asthma is well-controlled with daily medication and has (thus far) never caused her any serious issues. Though it does flare up when she falls ill or exercises more than normal, her asthma most typically manifests in a distinctive chronic cough from October through April.<\/p>\n

Predictably, the coughing has recently started up again.\u00a0\u00a0It makes us very unpopular in public spaces.<\/p>\n

At our local science museum last week, I couldn\u2019t help but notice other parents discreetly redirecting their children away from my daughter who, although she\u2019s pretty good about coughing into her elbow, inevitably makes quite a scene when she\u2019s hit with a prolonged spell.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t blame other parents for giving us a wide berth. Nobody wants their kids to get sick and, unless you know (as we do) that her cough is distinctly asthmatic, you\u2019d think she had a cold and was putting everybody at risk of exposure. And so I find myself subtly justifying our presence. If I happen to catch a mother\u2019s skeptical eye after yet another coughing fit, I give her an apologetic smile and say, \u201cSorry, she has asthma.\u201d<\/p>\n

Almost without exception, her expression transforms from one of irritation into one of sympathy and regret.<\/p>\n

Watching this instantaneous transformation occur before my eyes over and over again makes me wonder: how many times have I presumed that I am witnessing a human failing (one to which I can feel superior) when, in fact, I\u2019m only seeing the symptom of an underlying illness or injury (one which would immediately compel me to compassion)?<\/p>\n

I suspect the answer is almost every time<\/em>.<\/p>\n

One of my favorite quotes, attributed to Ian Maclaren, is, \u201cBe kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.\u201d The older I get, the more I realize how true this is. In every stage of life I meet people who are embroiled in terrible battles\u2014battles which transform my bitter judgment into deep sympathy in a heartbeat:<\/p>\n

Why is that boy acting so rude on the playground?<\/em> Because he\u2019s on the autism spectrum and doesn\u2019t recognize social cues.<\/p>\n

Why is that new mother giving her baby formula, when we all know \u201cbreast is best\u201d?<\/em> Because she has postpartum depression and breastfeeding makes it worse.<\/p>\n

Why does that young woman get drunk and sleep with jerks every weekend?<\/em> Because she was sexually abused and has no model for healthy intimacy.<\/p>\n

Why is that guy addicted to heroin?<\/em> Because he\u2019s gay and terrified of coming out.<\/p>\n

Why did that mom bring her sick child to the Pacific Science Center today?<\/em> Because her daughter\u2019s cough is due to a chronic, not contagious, sickness.<\/p>\n

We are all of us sick: at the very least, in the way that humanity is sick with original sin but also\u2014and usually far worse\u2014in ways that are personal, foundational \u2026 and frequently invisible. Our souls may be sin-sick (as the old hymn goes), but they are also abuse-sick, grief-sick, trauma-sick, and illness-sick.<\/p>\n

\"Photo
Photo courtesy of freeimages.com<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The same wounds and diseases that cry out for compassion lie hidden beneath the very symptoms which make compassion so easy to withhold. And yet Scripture, particularly the New Testament, makes it pretty clear that compassion is non-negotiable if we are to consider ourselves true Christians.<\/p>\n

As God\u2019s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.<\/em> (Colossians 3:12-14<\/a>)<\/p>\n

I pray for the grace to see beyond the coughing spells I encounter, and to be moved to compassion for those dreadful, hidden illnesses about which I know nothing.<\/p>\n

About the Rabble Rouser<\/strong><\/a>:<\/p>\n

\"Nicole-Steele-Woodridge-with-daughters\"Nicole Steele Wooldridge<\/strong><\/a> is a friend of Sister Julia\u2019s whose contributions to <\/em>Messy Jesus Business usually focus on the intersection of faith and parenting. She writes from the Seattle, Washington area, where she lives with her husband and two daughters (only one of whom has asthma).<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"My \u00a0daughter has asthma. People often express their condolences when the subject comes up but\u2014the truth is\u2014it\u2019s really not a big deal. I grew up with asthma, so I was never intimidated by the diagnosis. Thankfully, my daughter\u2019s asthma is well-controlled with daily medication and has (thus far) never caused her any serious issues. Though...","protected":false},"author":51099403,"featured_media":6740,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[698755598,115341],"tags":[15841,1343,214,123169,11845,401,7816,18215,10094,82438,45209,8329,87848,724459,85701,5309,1053,24906,12529,241748,372332,23741],"series":[698756626],"class_list":["post-6736","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christian-family-life","category-equity-and-justice-equity-and-justice","tag-asthma","tag-children","tag-christianity","tag-christians","tag-compassion","tag-faith","tag-god","tag-grace","tag-human","tag-illness","tag-irritation","tag-jesus","tag-judgement","tag-love-your-neighbor","tag-medication","tag-parenting","tag-parents","tag-sick","tag-sin","tag-struggle","tag-sympathy","tag-witness","series-messy-jesus-business"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/asthma.jpg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/feed\/podcast\/messy-jesus-business","embedCode":"

Our hidden illness<\/a><\/blockquote>