{"id":6615,"date":"2016-08-16T12:52:19","date_gmt":"2016-08-16T17:52:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/?p=6615"},"modified":"2026-02-26T13:45:07","modified_gmt":"2026-02-26T19:45:07","slug":"being-merciful-to-yourself-in-the-year-of-mercy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/2016\/08\/16\/being-merciful-to-yourself-in-the-year-of-mercy\/","title":{"rendered":"Being merciful to yourself in the Year of Mercy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mercy is the point where God’s love meets the needs of the world. When Pope Francis opened this Year of Mercy he stated<\/a>, In this Jubilee Year, let us allow God to surprise us. He never tires of casting open the doors of his heart and of repeating that he loves us and wants to share his love with us.<\/em>\u00a0Let God surprise us with deep and extravagant mercy!<\/p>\n

My tendency is to have abundant mercy for others, but struggle to truly be gentle and kind to myself.\u00a0However, over ten years of intrusive thoughts of self-harm have taught me some serious spiritual lessons.<\/p>\n

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Photo Credit: http:\/\/images.marianweb.net\/archives\/library\/bemerciful.jpg<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Here are a few:<\/p>\n

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  1. Having a thought does not make it true<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I may have the same thought of self-harm every day, hundreds of times a day for the rest of my life, and nothing will ever make that thought true. Sometimes we think every thought that goes through our head is a missive from God. But they are not. Some thoughts are temptations, distractions and lies that we tell ourselves. Even when I believe I am precious to and beloved by God, my thoughts don\u2019t always reflect it. I must choose how I react to my thoughts, which lead to\u2026<\/p>\n

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    1. Neither repress nor obsess<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      When I either avoid my thoughts or ruminate on them like a favorite pet, things only get worse. Instead, I choose to \u201cride the wave.\u201d When difficult thoughts and emotions threaten to overwhelm me I watch them come and, eventually, go. I observe without judgment. I name them. \u201cHmmmm. Looks like I\u2019m having a self-harming thought. Yep. There it is. What do I need to do right now to be merciful to myself and remember I am beloved?\u201d Either repressing or obsessing just gives power to the thoughts. By staying in the middle way the thoughts dissolve on their own.<\/p>\n

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      1. I can\u2019t. God can. Let God.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        This summary of the first three steps of the 12 Step Spirituality Program helps millions in recovery for whatever addiction or habit gets you most stuck. \u201cGod, I\u2019m not in control of my life, but I know that you\u2019ve got this and I\u2019m going to give my will, my struggles and my life to you.\u201d Sometimes handing it over to God is an every moment thing. Just this one day, this hour, this moment. As we say in recovery \u201cI can do something this moment that would daunt me if I thought I had to do it for a lifetime. Right now, I give it all to God.\u201d<\/p>\n

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        1. People are kind, even when they say stupid things (which they often do without trying to).<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          When I talk of self-harming and suicidal thoughts it\u2019s easy for people to get overwhelmed. I learn how each person in my life walks with me. Some people can listen, some people can just be. Some people have never really dealt with someone who has intense mental health issues before. One sister in my congregation just sends me a kind note with a bag of herbal tea now and then, and I know she cares. People care for me and don\u2019t want to see me in pain, but they don\u2019t always know what to do. That\u2019s okay. Just let them love you and be present in whatever way is most respectful to both of you. One person said to me, \u201cHow can you have those thoughts and be a Catholic Sister? Don\u2019t you believe in God?\u201d Well, yes. And that leads to\u2026<\/p>\n

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          1. Jesus doesn\u2019t always take the pain away, but He always holds me in my suffering.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Sometimes I can believe I\u2019m a precious child of God lovingly created for all eternity, other times I cannot. But God never abandons me. Through every pain and ugly thought and wish to die my sweet Christ surrounds me in love. Whether I feel it or not. Recently in my prayer I heard Christ say, \u201cI am sorry you are suffering. You have everything you need. I love you. Let my love be sufficient.\u201d When I finished praying the thoughts of self-harm were still there, but I knew I was not alone.<\/p>\n

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            1. God. God. God.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              Persistent thoughts of self-harm have taught me to be willing to be willing. I need to open my hands and let go of the illusion of control, every day. Every moment. I can:<\/p>\n