Water birth or epidural? Cry-it-out or attachment parenting? Career- or stay-at-home mom\/dad? For every parenting decision we make, there is an “expert” eager to explain exactly how that decision will cause irreversible damage in our children. Once, distraught by contradictory parenting books, I called my mom in a panic. \u201cHow do I know which one is right?!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNicole,\u201d she replied with wise bemusement, \u201cthere are a million right<\/i> ways to raise a child.\u201d<\/p>\n What a revelation! I\u2019ve carried that advice with me even\u2014and especially\u2014as I\u2019ve waded through judgment from others and the temptation to judge others. I do, of course, have strong opinions about what\u2019s right for my family, and I have unfortunately witnessed some very wrong<\/i> ways to raise a child. But, for the most part, I respect others\u2019 parenting choices and operate under the assumption that they\u2019re doing what\u2019s right for them. I think most of us can agree that deeming a woman \u201cMom Enough\u201d based upon her use or disuse of the pacifier is rather absurd … but, then again, welcome to the Mommy Wars!<\/p>\n Some would say that the Mommy Wars are yet another symptom of our fundamental brokenness. I, however, am a bit more optimistic. I believe the Mommy Wars are a reflection, albeit misguided, of our commitment to live out our parental vocations as best we can. We understand that the decisions we make in raising our children are tremendously important\u2014perhaps more important than any other in our lives. Add in the surplus of “expert” opinions, and suddenly even minor decisions (like using a pacifier) take on an almost-mythical magnitude. Our earnest desire to do it right<\/i> fuels both passion and insecurity, and we become hyper defensive of our choices. The ultimate result: the Mommy Wars.<\/p>\n There is a temptation, I think, to become defensive whenever we know we are doing something of profound significance. In this matter, as in so many others, our faith tradition can be instructive. Our primary vocation as Christians is to live out our baptismal calling: to bind ourselves in perfect love to God and one another. And here too, when faced with the knowledge that what we are doing really<\/i> matters, we become rightfully passionate and deeply insecure. Look in the editorial section of your local diocesan publication for the latest version of \u201cIf the way you\u2019re Catholic is different from the way I\u2019m Catholic, then you must be wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n Yet our Church belies this perspective. Joan of Arc was a warrior; Dorothy Day was a pacifist. Francis of Assisi spurned material wealth; Thomas More lived in opulence. Th\u00e9r\u00e8se of Lisieux prayed in a cloistered convent; Francis Xavier was a missionary evangelist.<\/p>\n Clearly, our Church prescribes no single right<\/i> way to be a saint. Jesus himself called fishermen, a tax collector and a zealot to be among his apostles. The diversity of the saints and apostles tells us that we can be united in mission and purpose while living out our vocation in vastly different ways. What\u2019s saintly for one person may not translate into holiness in another. I apply the same principle to parenting: the best decision for me as a mother might be impossible or imprudent for another mom, but it has nothing to do with either of us being “Mom Enough.”<\/i><\/p>\n Being a mom is sufficiently difficult without the snarky comments or disapproving stares of others. We parents need to be able to turn to each other for advice, encouragement and empathy without fear of judgment from those who are doing it differently (especially because, when it comes down to it, I\u2019m convinced we\u2019re all basically winging it anyway).<\/p>\n I\u2019m pretty sure Jesus couldn\u2019t care less whether we give our babies a pacifier. He would\u2014and we should<\/i>\u2014be far more concerned with whether we are giving one another love and support as we stumble along the path of parenthood. In fact, I think Jesus would take one look at those vicious mommy message boards and declare a holy ceasefire in the Mommy Wars. Let us do the same!<\/p>\n This week\u2019s guest blogger, Nicole Steele Wooldridge, is a friend of Sister Julia\u2019s. She\u2019s a mom to a two-year-old and a two-month-old, and she really wishes her baby would take a pacifier.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I am a conscientious objector to the Mommy Wars. If you\u2019ve never heard of the Mommy Wars, then you (mercifully) missed last year\u2019s media frenzy surrounding a Time magazine cover that featured a mom breastfeeding her four-year-old son. The accompanying article, provocatively titled “Are You Mom Enough?,” spawned a\u00a0vitriolic nation-wide debate that was sadly emblematic...","protected":false},"author":51099403,"featured_media":3990,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[698755602],"tags":[214,698755374,698755376,401,7816,8329,87848,91155239,186868,4089,5309,698755382,34941365,118194],"series":[698756626],"class_list":["post-3972","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-peacemakingandnonviolence","tag-christianity","tag-community","tag-discipleship","tag-faith","tag-god","tag-jesus","tag-judgement","tag-mom-enough","tag-mommy-wars","tag-motherhood","tag-parenting","tag-peacemaking","tag-relationship-2","tag-trial","series-messy-jesus-business"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/166581_22851.jpg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/feed\/podcast\/messy-jesus-business","embedCode":"![\"166581_2285[1]\"](\"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/166581_22851.jpg?w=300\")
<\/a>Jesus and the Mommy Wars<\/a><\/blockquote>