{"id":22333,"date":"2024-07-25T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-07-25T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/?p=22333"},"modified":"2026-02-09T08:28:44","modified_gmt":"2026-02-09T14:28:44","slug":"kaya-oakes-on-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/2024\/07\/25\/kaya-oakes-on-forgiveness\/","title":{"rendered":"Kaya Oakes: On Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"<iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/player.blubrry.com\/?podcast_id=133477551&amp;media_url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.blubrry.com%2Fmessyjesusbusiness%2Fcontent.blubrry.com%2Fmessyjesusbusiness%2FMJB_Episode_78_Kaya_Oakes_Forgiveness.mp3#mode-Light&border-000000&progress-000000\" scrolling=\"no\" width=\"100%\" height=\"165\" frameborder=\"0\" id=\"blubrryplayer-1\" class=\"blubrryplayer\" title=\"Blubrry Podcast Player\"><\/iframe><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_links_mp3\" style=\"margin-bottom: 1px !important;\">Podcast: <a href=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/messyjesusbusiness\/content.blubrry.com\/messyjesusbusiness\/MJB_Episode_78_Kaya_Oakes_Forgiveness.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_pinw\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Play in new window\" onclick=\"return powerpress_pinw('https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/?powerpress_pinw=22333-podcast');\" rel=\"nofollow\">Play in new window<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/messyjesusbusiness\/content.blubrry.com\/messyjesusbusiness\/MJB_Episode_78_Kaya_Oakes_Forgiveness.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_d\" title=\"Download\" rel=\"nofollow\" download=\"MJB_Episode_78_Kaya_Oakes_Forgiveness.mp3\">Download<\/a><\/p><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_subscribe_links\">Subscribe: <a href=\"https:\/\/subscribebyemail.com\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/category\/podcast\/feed\/podcast\/\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_email\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe by Email\" rel=\"nofollow\">Email<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/category\/podcast\/feed\/podcast\/\" class=\"powerpress_link_subscribe powerpress_link_subscribe_rss\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Subscribe via RSS\" rel=\"nofollow\">RSS<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong><strong>Episode 78 of Messy Jesus Business podcast, with Sister Julia Walsh<\/strong>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Podcast:&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/messyjesusbusiness\/content.blubrry.com\/messyjesusbusiness\/MJB_Episode_78_Kaya_Oakes_Forgiveness.mp3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Play in new window<\/a>&nbsp;|&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/messyjesusbusiness\/content.blubrry.com\/messyjesusbusiness\/MJB_Episode_78_Kaya_Oakes_Forgiveness.mp3\">Download<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Subscribe:&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/subscribebyemail.com\/messyjesusbusiness.com\/feed\/podcast\/\">Email<\/a>&nbsp;|&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/feed\/podcast\/\">RSS<\/a>&nbsp;|&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/catholic-podcast\/subscribe-to-podcast\/\">More<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>Forgiveness is a process, not a product.&#8221;<\/p>\n<cite>-Kaya Oakes<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>IN THIS EPISODE<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this episode of Messy Jesus Business podcast, Sister Julia Walsh FSPA chats with Kaya Oakes. Their conversation goes into the issues and ideas about forgiveness that Kaya explores in her new book, <em>Not So Sorry<\/em>. To her, forgiveness is often an expected act that doesn&#8217;t include avenues for processing. Kaya discusses &#8220;restorative justice as a model for a collaborative kind of forgiveness that I think is closer to what Jesus was talking about.&#8221; Later in the podcast she adds, &#8220;it&#8217;s like him saying give yourself time and space to decide what God&#8217;s calling you to do.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sister Julia and Kaya also talk about Kaya&#8217;s breast cancer. She talks about the frustrations of the process of diagnosis and treatment, as well as how dealing with a serious medical need requires more than just individual action. As Kaya says, &#8220;you don&#8217;t survive cancer without a community.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" src=\"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/kaya_oakes_highres_2-1.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-13306\" srcset=\"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/kaya_oakes_highres_2-1.jpeg 640w, https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/kaya_oakes_highres_2-1-150x100.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/kaya_oakes_highres_2-1-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/kaya_oakes_highres_2-1-380x254.jpeg 380w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Kaya Oakes<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p><strong>ABOUT THE GUEST<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kaya Oakes is a journalist and author of many books, most recently, <em><a href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/not-so-sorry-abusers-false-apologies-and-the-limits-of-forgiveness-kaya-oakes\/21000721?ean=9781506486963\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">&#8220;Not So Sorry: Abusers, False Apologies, and the Limits of Forgiveness,&#8221;<\/a><\/em> as well as&nbsp;<em>&#8220;<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Defiant-Middle-Women-Betweens-Remake\/dp\/1506467687\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Defiant Middle: How Women Claim Life\u2019s In-Betweens to Remake the World<\/em>,<\/a>&#8220;&#8221;<em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Nones-Are-Alright-Kaya-Oakes\/dp\/1626981574\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Nones Are Alright<\/a>,&#8221;<\/em>&nbsp;and&nbsp;&#8220;<em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Radical-Reinvention-Unlikely-Return-Catholic\/dp\/1593764316\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Radical Reinvention<\/a><\/em>.&#8221; You can also find her on her <a href=\"https:\/\/kayaoakes.substack.com\/\">Substack<\/a> and on her <a href=\"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/2021\/03\/04\/kaya-oakes-the-importance-of-being-humble-and-vulnerable\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">last guest appearance on the Messy Jesus Business Podcast<\/a>. She teaches writing at UC Berkeley. Her work has received multiple awards, with her essays and journalism appearing in The Guardian, Slate, Foreign Policy, The Washington Post, and On Being. She was born and raised in Oakland, California, where she still lives. Find her on Instagram <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/kayaoakeswrites\/\">@kayaoakeswrites<\/a>, or on X <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/kayaoakes\">@kayaoakes<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>MESSY JESUS BUSINESS<\/strong>&nbsp;is hosted by Sister Julia Walsh.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Produced and edited by Colin Wambsgans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Email us at&nbsp;<a href=\"mailto:messyjesusbusiness@gmail.com\">messyjesusbusiness@gmail.com<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>BE SOCIAL:<\/strong><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MessyJesusBusiness\"><br>https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MessyJesusBusiness<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Facebook:&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MessyJesusBusiness\">https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MessyJesusBusiness<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Twitter: <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/messyjesusbiz\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">@messyjesusbiz<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instagram:&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/messyjesusbusiness\">https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/messyjesusbusiness<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>S<strong>UPPORT US:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/messyjesusbusiness\">https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/messyjesusbusiness<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Episode 78 of Messy Jesus Business podcast, with Sister Julia Walsh. Podcast:&nbsp;Play in new window&nbsp;|&nbsp;Download Subscribe:&nbsp;&nbsp;Email&nbsp;|&nbsp;RSS&nbsp;|&nbsp;More Forgiveness is a process, not a product.&#8221; -Kaya Oakes IN THIS EPISODE In this episode of Messy Jesus Business podcast, Sister Julia Walsh FSPA chats with Kaya Oakes. Their conversation goes into the issues and ideas about forgiveness that...","protected":false},"author":149585918,"featured_media":11690,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[698755390],"tags":[698756721,698756690,214,190616,71131,18215,8329,698755638,698755564,384718,698755485],"series":[698756626],"class_list":["post-22333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-podcast","tag-breast-cancer","tag-cancer","tag-christianity","tag-forgive","tag-forgiveness","tag-grace","tag-jesus","tag-kaya-oakes","tag-restorative-justice","tag-st-francis","tag-truth-and-reconciliation-commission","series-messy-jesus-business"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Kaya-Oakes.jpg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/feed\/podcast\/messy-jesus-business","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"CFWIOhrNx7\"><a href=\"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/2024\/07\/25\/kaya-oakes-on-forgiveness\/\">Kaya Oakes: On Forgiveness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/customwordpresssites.com\/mjb\/2024\/07\/25\/kaya-oakes-on-forgiveness\/embed\/#?secret=CFWIOhrNx7\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Kaya Oakes: On Forgiveness&#8221; &#8212; Messy Jesus Business\" data-secret=\"CFWIOhrNx7\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! 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Podcast:&nbsp;Play in new window&nbsp;|&nbsp;Download Subscribe:&nbsp;&nbsp;Email&nbsp;|&nbsp;RSS&nbsp;|&nbsp;More Forgiveness is a process, not a product.&#8221; -Kaya Oakes IN THIS EPISODE In this episode of Messy Jesus Business podcast, Sister Julia Walsh FSPA chats with Kaya Oakes. 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